I Thessalonians 4:3-8 – “Through His Eyes”

As always, here’s my fairly literal translation of these verses:

³For this is God’s desire, your sanctification, [that] you keep yourself from sexual sin, ⁴[that] each of you know to acquire his own vessel (body, wife?) in sanctification and honor, ⁵not in a passion of lust just as also the peoples who do not know God, ⁶not to overstep and take advantage in the matter his brother, because [the] Lord [is][the] avenger concerning all of these things, just as also we said before and solemnly warned you; ⁷for God did not call us upon uncleanness but in holiness. ⁸Therefore, the one rejecting [this instruction] is not rejecting man but God who gives into you His Holy Spirit.

I’ve been pondering this passage for quite a while but don’t feel I’ve yet really gotten in touch with God’s heart. Sometimes it comes as I type, so I think I’ll just give it a whirl.

I could comment on the precise meaning(s) of the word porneia, which I’ve translated “sexual sin.” We also could join the debate of whether the “vessel” mentioned is a person’s own body or a man’s wife. We could also debate whether the “overstepping” and “taking advantage” is still talking about sexual sin (which I think it is) or whether it is just a general prohibition against harming others. However, since gallons of ink have already been spilled in those discussions, I may not take the time.

What really stands out to me and what I’ve been pondering is that, obviously, sexual sin is a really big deal to God. In the passage before us, it’s a matter of “sanctification and honor” versus “passions of lust” and “not knowing God.” It’s a sin of “overstepping” and “taking advantage.” It’s something over which the Lord Himself takes the position of “Avenger!” It’s something concerning which, even in his short stay, Paul had “solemnly warned” the Thessalonians. It’s a matter of “uncleanness” versus “holiness;” and we are sternly warned that rejection (more likely minimalizing, in our culture) of this teaching is a direct affront to God Himself. Finally, and probably the trump card is the fact that God has given to us His Holy Spirit – that in salvation, the very Third Person of the Trinity has taken up residence in the very bodies which we may or may not involve in this activity that so deeply offends God.

Woosh.

What bothers me is that, way down deep in my heart, I realize it doesn’t bother me that much. Of course it’s “wrong.” Every Christian knows that. It’s one of the Ten Commandments! Early in my Christian life, I learned to “look away.” All these years the Lord has helped me to stay away from pornography (for which I thank Him from the bottom of my heart). While we were dating, my wife and I took all of this very seriously and the first time I kissed her was when the minister said, “You may now kiss your bride.”

I think I can honestly say I’ve taken the matter seriously pretty much my entire Christian life.

But that has been from the perspective of simply, “It’s wrong.”

Somewhere I ran across the quote, “When men forbear vice, though they do not hate it, this may be the sinner’s motto, ‘Fain I would, but I dare not.’ Here is no change of heart. Sin is curbed, but not cured; …” When I ran across the quote, I copied it, because I thought to myself, “That is exactly what is bothering me.” I “forbear” the vice, but I “do not hate it.” As the writer says, “Here is no change of heart.” “Sin is curbed, but not cured.”

I guess what I am saying is that it simply is not enough for me any more to know what’s “right” or “wrong.” I want to know God’s heart. I want to see the “right” and “wrong” through His eyes. I want to see my life, my world through His eyes.

Up to this point, I don’t think I have ever seen sexual sin through His eyes. It’s just “wrong.” But again, way down deep in my heart, I don’t necessarily see what’s so “wrong” about it. At some point in my life I observed that immorality almost invariably hurts children – from the problems caused by unwed pregnancies to the effects of unfaithfulness on families – and so I reasoned that is a huge part of why God so hates this sin – because it ultimately hurts children while God really, really, really loves children. And I still think that’s true. More recently, our pastor has pointed out that sex is about the oneness of marriage and all sexual sin undermines that unique oneness that God intends. (By the way, I think he’s right and one way or another that thought will prove significant – when I do figure it out). But all of that said, I still don’t find in my heart the loathing of this sin which I know is true of God’s heart.

And that is what is bothering me. I want to see it through His eyes.

Once again, we could catalog all the pain and heartache sexual sin creates in this world. There are the sexually transmitted diseases people pass around, some incurable, and some, like AIDS, even fatal. Unfaithfulness has destroyed countless marriages, whether it was just the destroyed relationships or actual divorces. There’s not enough paper in the world to record the heartaches of children conceived/born out of wedlock and never knowing the security and warmth of growing up in a home with their own two parents, with their own full-blooded brothers and sisters. And we could go on.

All of that is horrible to recount, but does it pin down what God is seeing? I don’t think so, because a person could look at all of that and say, “You just need to be careful. As long as two consenting adults are careful, as long as they ‘use protection,’ as long as they aren’t married to someone else … what’s the harm?” Basically they could be saying, “As long as you guard against the potentially negative consequences, what’s so bad about it?” Right now my only reply would have to be “because it’s wrong.”

In a sense that is enough. It’s been “enough” for me for 35 years of marriage and it will be “enough” whether I figure out the “why?” or not. Obviously it is a big deal to God and I will go on making the fact that “it’s wrong” a big deal in my own heart and life. I love my God and if it bothers Him, then I just won’t do it. If it pleases Him that I keep my heart glued to my beautiful wife, then that’s what I’ll do. He showed me Prov 5:19 years ago: “…Be ravished always by her love.” As a young man and as I studied those words I found that “ravished” is a Hebrew word that literally means to be “intoxicated,” “to be unable to walk a straight line”, and “love” is actually “lovings.” Both the context and the verse itself are intensely sexual and I realized what the Lord was telling me was to keep myself crazy about this girl, to let my head explode over the thought of her, and that has been a huge protection to me all these years. As long as a man stays crazy about his wife, the rest of the world may be full of very beautiful and very alluring women, but who cares? I’m married to an angel who must have fallen out of Heaven! The thought of her sets off the Fourth of July in my head. The rest just really don’t matter.

But for all of this, still, in some sense, I am the sinner of whom the man wrote, “Sin is curbed, but not cured…” The approach of “It’s wrong” works I guess, but still, I wish I really understood God’s heart. I wish I could see it through His eyes.

This post is probably already too long, but, for the record, I want to consider I Cor 6:12-20. This is the most extensive passage I can find in the Bible where God is actually sharing His heart on this subject. It reads:

“I have the right to do anything,” you say—but not everything is beneficial. “I have the right to do anything”—but I will not be mastered by anything. You say, “Food for the stomach and the stomach for food, and God will destroy them both.” The body, however, is not meant for sexual immorality but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body. By his power God raised the Lord from the dead, and he will raise us also. Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ himself? Shall I then take the members of Christ and unite them with a prostitute? Never! Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, “The two will become one flesh.” But whoever is united with the Lord is one with him in spirit. Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body. Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.”

Okay. Here’s the thing. These nine verses actually tell us what God thinks. We can set aside all our other “reasons” why we think “it’s wrong,” and just listen to God. Obviously, to me from this passage, in God’s eyes our bodies, in and of themselves, are important to Him, and He sees them as a tool by which we accomplish “oneness” – whether it be physically with another person, or spiritually with the Lord Himself. The problem with sexual sin is that it violates God’s plan for oneness. Apparently, “oneness” is extremely important to His heart, and He sees our bodies as tools to accomplish it. Somehow, sex is more than just two bodies together. Somehow it creates a “oneness” of the two people that, in God’s eyes, is more than what we see. Obviously, from the rest of the Bible, it is a very good thing within marriage, but it is very bad in any other context.

Hmmmmmm. I think that is it. I’m just not sure I really comprehend it all. I think I will just let those thoughts settle into my brain, that I will try to think on those things rather than just the “it’s wrong” as I have the temptations swirling around me all day every day, and see how it all develops. Maybe if I do, I can begin to see the whole matter through God’s eyes.

I hope so. His heart is always a big huge heart full of love. Knowing His heart allows me myself to have a bigger heart of love – even if that includes understanding the “wrong” in the world. Knowing His heart should allow me to be able to say “It’s wrong” while still loving people, even the ones who may be very “wrong.”

God give us Your heart.