As always, here’s my fairly literal translation of these verses:
7The
works of His hands [are] truth and justice;
the all of His commands are trustworthy,
8Being
established to forever to ages,
being done in truth and uprightness.
According to my records, I have been studying this
delightful Psalm for just over a month. A couple of days ago, I had the most
interesting epiphany and what I hope is a profound paradigm shift in my view of
life.
I have been aware for years that I simply worry too much.
That has bothered me particularly in light of Peter’s experience trying to walk
on the water. As he sank, Jesus lifted Him out, looked him in the face, and
asked, “Why did you doubt?” He’s constantly looking at me and asking the same
question. As I’ve related many times, I know looking back that He has been
utterly faithful to me. It is very clear that everything He put me through was
for my good and He even used my sins (and in particular their consequences!) to
make me better. Time after time after time I have worried myself sick only to
find when it was over that He had done exceedingly abundantly above anything I
could have asked or thought. So why do I doubt?
Recently I’ve become more aware that basically I live in
fear. My very being is constantly and literally terrorized by all the
uncertainties around me. I’ve mentioned before it seems like every assignment
I’m given at work is impossible. I keep telling myself that God has not given us
a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a well-ordered mind, that
perfect love casts out fear. I try to keep my focus on love. Yet, nothing I
seem to learn or do ever changes this awful underlying dread I feel … and still
He looks me in the eye and asks me, “Why do you doubt?” “I don’t know!” I want
to cry. “I don’t want to. I want to trust You. I should trust You. There is
absolutely no reason on earth for me not to trust You. You have been absolutely
faithful to me. You have always, always, always helped me. I don’t know why I
can’t stop doubting.” And so, finally, I just pray and ask Him somehow to take
away this spirit of fear.
From the beginning of this Psalm, I have been studying about
God’s “works” or His “doings.” I can just take a quick read of the Psalm and
I’m reminded again how everything He does is good. All of His works, all of His
rule over us, all of it all is awesome, amazing, wonderful. He is “altogether
lovely.”
What struck me is that all of life is His works. All of life is what He
is doing. All of my life is His
works. Here I am, all my life, asking Him to help me. In my mind, I have all these responsibilities and challenges
and issues in my life and I need God to step into my life, into all the
impossibility and help me. I’m seeing it as my life, my “works” and God helps
me. But that isn’t true. It’s His life, His “works” and at best you could
describe what I’m doing as helping Him!
In other words, it’s all His world, His works, His plans, and what He has done
is given me life and allowed me to be a part.
That is exactly why everything seems impossible. It is. What
He is doing in this world, what He intends to accomplish, is so far beyond and
above me, I couldn’t possibly make it all happen. That’s why time and again I
afterward realized that actually what I did was a very small part and yet still
God made the giants fall. It wasn’t my work at all. It was His. All He ever
wanted me to do was “help,” “do my part,” contribute whatever little feeble effort
I could toward the goal. It was Him all along who had every intention of making
it happen. He just allowed me to be a part.
That is my whole life. It’s not my whole life. It’s His.
He is doing amazing things. He is doing great works. He is accomplishing a
grand and glorious plan. And He creates me, allows me to live for a short time,
and while I’m alive, I get to actually be a part of what He’s doing. Not that
He needs me, He’s just very kindly and lovingly allowing me to be a part of His
great eternal plan. My mistake all along has been seeing it all as my life, my
work, that I need His help to succeed at my
work. No. It is His work and He only asks me to do my part. That is precisely
why He told Gideon (in the face of a humanly impossible challenge), “Go in this
thy strength.”
That is why it is true, “It’s not by might, nor by power,
but by My Spirit, saith the Lord.” That’s how a boy could kill a giant with a
slingshot, how a bunch of slaves could knock down city walls by blowing horns,
how a bunch of impoverished exiles could rebuild a city wall in only 52 days,
and how a silly, confused boy could have solved so many seemingly impossible
challenges in his life. When I started at Staleys their waste treatment plant
basically did not work. They were out of compliance 10 or 12 days every month
and spending a fortune failing at it. By the time I left there, we’d gone
probably two years without a bad day, cut a million dollars out of their annual
operating costs, and what we did has since (I hear) become the industry
standard for wastewater treatment.
I could go on and on and on about all the miracles I’ve
watched happen. Again and again and again, it has been very obvious to me I didn’t
do it and yet it happened. I’ve known all along it was the Lord.
But the problem all along has been that, in my mind, it was
my work and I needed Him to help me. Studying Psalm 111 all about His work, I
realize that’s what it’s always been – His
work. Every one of those accomplishments were work He intended to do. The
only reason I was even involved is because He was letting me be a part.
Of course it was all impossible. It was God-work.
And so, as I look ahead to today, it’s not my life. It’s not
my work. The Lord is doing great things and I simply get to be a part of it
all.
That for me is a complete paradigm shift.
All of a sudden the whole fear thing turned down about ten
notches! Now, when He asks me, “Why did you doubt?” I know exactly why. I
thought it was my job to walk on the water. It never was. It’s His.
I am actually hopeful that, once again, He has taught me
something that changes my life. This is precisely why I study the Bible. I don’t
want to be who I was. I want to learn. I want to change. I want to be better. And,
once again, what changes me is not some effort on my part to implement some improvement
plan. What changes me is seeing Him.
Praise the LORD.
1I will praise the LORD with all
of [my] heart,
in council of the upright and assembly.
2Great [are] the doings of the
LORD,
being sought to/by all of delights of them.
3Glorious and majestic [is] His
doing,
and His uprightness [is] standing forever.
…
7The works of His hands [are]
truth and justice;
the all of His commands are trustworthy,
8Being established to forever to
ages,
being done in truth and uprightness.
“Great are the doings of the Lord.” May I (and maybe you
too!) find joy today in being part of His great eternal work!
No comments:
Post a Comment