Daniel 10:15 “Answers?”

Here’s my fairly literal translation of these verses:

¹⁵And in his speaking with me according to the words the these, I set my face earthward and I was made speechless.

In my last post, I was puzzling over how devastating all of this was for Daniel, but that I can’t say the Lord has ever affected me that way. I said there, “… I realize that, if I actually saw a vision of Jesus in His glory and of angels and Seraphim shouting “Holy, holy, holy!”, I’d probably be in a terror too. In a sense I’m being too hard on myself, expecting to respond in faith to what I can’t see with my eyes. However, we walk by faith and not by sight. I don’t want to excuse myself simply because I don’t see something with my eyes. Faith should lift us above physical sight…It bothers me that I see these things in the Bible, but fear I know little of them in reality.”

My mother and I often discuss my studies. We enjoy kicking them around and considering what lessons we might learn. As we were pondering this one, she offered an insight that has actually kept my head sort of reeling ever since. I think it really is at least one answer to my questions.

She said something like, “To see Jesus, to see His great power, that's what gives us the strength to live for Him, to serve Him with more fervor.”

There may be many other lessons to learn, but I think she’s on to one that really helps me. Yes, that is where we all must start with God – on our face. It is in being struck by His greatness that gives us the power to literally stand! In this case, I feel free to say it may not all be physical, but it is definitely spiritual. In other words, maybe knowing God doesn’t drive me physically to the ground or leave me barely able to breathe, but still that is where we must start on our way to being "strong" in Him.

Here is what I’m thinking: For myself I can say without any doubt, the biggest hindrance to my faith my entire life has been my arrogance. Jesus clearly warned us, “Without Me, you can do nothing” (Jn 15:5). Perhaps it’s true of most people, but for me, being young meant I had the energy and the strength and the health to feel like literally “I can do it all.” While I was very busy “serving the Lord,” I know I never really understood Jesus’ words. I could read it and think that was what I was doing – depending on Him – but at the same time there was something in it that puzzled me. I hope it is a matter of faith that I feel I’ve become profoundly aware of just how true those words are, but the failing health of aging has certainly highlighted the truth. Without Him, I can do nothing. The fact is, I can’t do much anyway! Aging and a lifetime of reality go a long way toward skewering my pride!

I look back now and realize how very little was accomplished for all the time and energy and effort I put into doing what was, in reality, my will, not necessarily His. You see, I wasn’t starting where Daniel did – on my face. I’m sure I still have a lot more to learn, but I do feel like I’ve come a long way since my arrogant youth. Hopefully it is true that I am keenly aware of my utter futility without Him.

Especially in my morning prayers, looking ahead to another day, it’s almost overwhelming to realize how much I need Him. As Daniel said, “To Him belongs wisdom and power.” Wow is that true. To Him – not to me. I certainly don’t have wisdom – this crazy world and all its twists and turns and everything seemingly happening at once utterly overwhelms me. The fact is I don’t know. I don’t know what to do, how to respond, how to fix this or that, how to deal with this or that, what is the best plan going forward. I don’t know – but He does. I don’t know what He wants to accomplish in my world today – but He does. So sometimes, I can only sit in His presence in the morning, plead my hopeless ignorance and beg Him to let me be a willing participant in whatever it is He’s up to.

That’s the “wisdom” part, then there’s the power. I realize more today just how powerless I am. It’s not only true physically (age does a lot to impress that on me), but I see it spiritually now too. Daniel has really helped me to see that what seems to be going on here in our physical, visual world is really just an expression of that enormous cosmic battle swirling around us in the unseen spirit world. As David prayed, “Deliver me from my enemies, for they are too powerful for me” (Psalm 142:6). The truth is, I can’t make much of anything happen – really. I can’t make one day sunny or the next rain. I really have no control over many (most) of the decisions being made every day, no matter how dramatically they may affect my life. I can’t keep people from dying. I can’t keep my children from getting sick. The only person in our whole universe who can control what does and doesn’t happen is God.

So now, later in life, even as I pray, I guess it is true (hope it is true) that I am spiritually on my face and speechless. More and more often, I just want to sit in His presence in the wonder of who He is, and realize it is Him who is controlling the course of my life. Sometimes I feel even my prayers are just silly, childish babbling, that even my requests are me “darkening counsel without knowledge.” I think I could just sit in His presence and tell Him I trust Him – except that He Himself told me to “Come boldly unto the Throne of Grace,” that “the prayers of the upright are His delight.” And so I babble on.

It is true that the Lord’s presence has never driven me into physical helplessness, but I believe it’s what’s spiritual that matters anyway. “They that worship Him must worship Him in spirit and in truth” (Jn. 4:24). “My son, give Me your heart” (Prov. 23:26). And the good news is that the Lord doesn’t drive us to our faces, except to then, like Daniel, raise us up. He knows that if we start in our arrogance, nothing we do will really amount to anything, but if we start in humility, looking to Him, trusting Him, and letting Him give us His wisdom and His power, then we can, in fact, move the mountains of our world!

I’m thankful again to my Mom for that insight. I don’t think I’ve ever really thought through the issues of spiritual vs. physical worship. As he has again and again, Daniel leaves me an example that truly opens my eyes. His life is still blessing mine – 2,600 years later! Hmmmm. You’d think he started in humility!