Psalm 25:11 – Him and Me – Part 2

Once again, here is my literal translation of this verse:

“In answer to Your name YHVH, even forgive my perversion because it [is] great.”

As I wrote in my last blog, there are actually two stratospheric points that stand out to me in this verse. The first concerned Him, the second concerns me.  In the last blog, Part 1, I recorded how I’m amazed at the enormity of God’s forgiving heart. David asks forgiveness because His sin is so great. I’m still amazed.

But then there’s me, Part 2. In this Psalm, David is clearly moved to pray because of some kind of pain occurring in his life. In verse 2, he prayed, “Let me not be ashamed; Let not my enemies triumph over me.” Then later in the Psalm, in verses 16-20, he prays,

“Turn Yourself to me, and have mercy on me,
         For I am desolate and afflicted.
 The troubles of my heart have enlarged;
         Bring me out of my distresses!
 Look on my affliction and my pain, …

Consider my enemies, for they are many;
         And they hate me with cruel hatred.
 Keep my soul, and deliver me; …”

Clearly David is hurting in some big ways. And clearly he’s doing the right thing, bringing them to God.

Yet, in our verse 11, he says, “Forgive my sin, for it is great.”

(Once again, remember that, in the Hebrew the “it” is emphatic).

And, of course, this isn’t the only place he laments his sinfulness. In verses 7 and 18 he also raises the issue.

Here is my thought. I have no problem seeing my suffering is great. But do I really see my sin as great?

As I read this Psalm and as I pray, what fills my heart is the suffering. It’s almost like my sin is more of a factual assent on my part. “Oh, yeah … and while You’re at it, taking away all my troubles and filling my life with blessings, while You’re at it, forgive my sins too.”

Hmmmm.

Probably don’t need to say more. It’s just that those two things awed me as I began to understand the verse: the enormity of His forgiving heart and the apparently minimal view I have of my sinfulness. My sufferings and pain are gargantuan to me. I’m not so sure my sin is.

Parting thought. On the one hand, I want to be cognizant of my sin and, if I need to, I pray the Lord would help me to see it more clearly. On the other hand, I’m wondering if there isn’t a little mercy involved here. I wonder if the Lord really let us see the full enormity of our sin, would it be so desponding we couldn’t bear it? As I’ve said before, there is also a sense in which the memories of my (many) sins down through the years haunt me incessantly (mercilessly) and only add to my “suffering” in this world. What if I saw them more?

I think this is one I’ll leave in the Lord’s hands. If in fact my heart is in any way minimizing my sins, I pray the Lord’s help to see them more clearly, that perhaps I would strike a better balance between the recognition of my sins and that of my suffering. On the other hand, I’ll let Him choose the extent of that recognition. Maybe the constant haunting is enough. Maybe it is enough to keep me among the anavim. I don’t think I really know. Again, I’ll leave that call up to Him.

In the meantime, I’d rather focus on knowing “what is the breadth and length and depth and height of the love of Christ, which passes knowledge.” (!)

“Thou hast bid me gaze upon Thee,

And Thy beauty fills my soul;

For by Thy transforming power,

Thou hast made me whole”.