Romans 8:32 “Trying”

Here’s my fairly literal translation of these verses:

³²He who did not spare even His own Son but delivered Him on behalf of us all, how shall He not also with Him freely give to us all things?

 We’re still answering Paul’s question from v.31, “What shall we then say to these things? If God be for us, who can be against us?” To this he adds, “He who spared not His own Son, but delivered Him up for us all, how shall He not with Him also freely give us all things?”

I have been pondering these words and praying over them for days. It would seem to me this is probably the most profound question any believer could ask themself, especially in the midst of pain and trouble. However, as I try to ponder the words, it’s almost as if my proud, stubborn heart has suddenly become an unassailable citadel. As I try to let the light of these words shine into my life, it’s as if something inside of me is determined to keep the door locked and bolted tight. I find it monumentally true that this heart of mine is “desperately wicked and deceitful above all things.”  That same passage (Jer. 17:9,10) then asks, “Who can know it?” Fortunately, it goes on to say, “I the Lord search the heart.” As a believer, I have the privilege of saying to Him, “Rescue me from my enemies, for they are too strong for me. Set me free from my prison, that I may praise your name” (Ps. 142:6,7).

What I’m trying to do is treat this verse like an altar. “He who spared not His own Son, but delivered Him up for us all, how shall He not with Him also freely give us all things?” I’m trying one by one to take anything I “don’t like” in my life and lay it on this altar. For instance, I don’t like that I can’t run fast anymore. Anyone can retort, “You’re 66, Don. What do you expect?” My answer would be, “I don’t care how old I am. I don’t like not being able to run like the wind.” I don’t like it. I can pray and ask the Lord to give me my speed back, fully realizing I’m asking for a miracle. That doesn’t bother me as I am fully convinced He has the power to do anything. It is true, it would be a miracle, but all He has to do is say, “Yes,” and it would be so. So, along with a few thousand other miracles I’d like to see in my life, I ask for this one. However, I ask and yet I’m still old and stiff and slow.

I don’t like it. What am I to do? I drag this “don’t like” thing kicking and screaming and try to get it on the altar of these words. Yes, I don’t like it. Yes, though I pray, the Lord doesn’t take it away. He could, but He doesn’t. It’s all very unpleasant. However, what happens when I lay it (or should I say try to lay it) on the altar of Rom. 8:32? “He who spared not His own Son, but delivered Him up for us all, how shall He not with Him also freely give us all things?” The Father already gave His Son for me. He already gave His precious, beloved Son to redeem this proud wretched sinner. “But God commends His love toward us in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us” (Rom. 5:8).

What I think should happen is an explosion of encouragement. Instead, what I find is that there is the faintest sense of a glimmer of hope, a hint of a quieting of my soul. Somehow I am keenly aware that this is a place of being still and knowing that He is God. Again, I think there ought to be an explosion, but honestly there is not. I rather suspect once again that is the hardness of my heart, so I say, “Lord, I do believe; help my unbelief.” I do believe that God the Father “spared not His own Son, but delivered Him up for me,” that having already spent His Son, there is no good thing He would withhold from me. Whatever is, whatever is not, it has to be for my eternal good. His grace is ours not only in what He gives, but also in what He withholds.

Someone may have read this and thought my running example is silly, irrelevant, petty, whatever. My answer to you is this: I could have said I was dying of cancer or just lost a loved one. Romans 8:32 certainly does and needs to apply to the horrific trials we face in life. However, if we would actually walk with God, we need to bring faith with us into our humdrum everyday lives. God cares about every detail. He cares as much about our little annoyances as He does our overwhelming disasters. It would be a terrible waste of encouragement to leave Romans 8:32 lying on a shelf, waiting for the next horrific trial to come crashing through our lives.

Hebrews 5:14 says that “strong meat belongs to them that by reason of use have their senses exercised to discern good and evil.” “By reason of use.” I would actually suggest to you that all those “little” problems, all those seemingly unimportant “don’t likes” are in a sense where you and I practice trusting God. My hope would be that, if I’ve been trying to trust God in the little annoyances and fears of my everyday, then when those brutal trials come, I’ll be stronger, more ready and able to see the Lord in it – precisely because I’ve already made a habit of trying to put His promises to work.

And so I go on. I will try to consciously place all of my troubles on the altar of this wonderful truth. Where I find nothing but a glimmer of hope, I will simply pray for His help and then try to go on in the calm assurance of His love. Abba, Father!