James 4:1-3 – “Sweet Spirit”

As always, here’s my fairly literal translation of these verses:

¹Where [do] wars and where [do] battles among you [come] from? [Do they] not [come] from here – out of your pleasures which are soldiering among your members? ²You lust and do not have; you murder and covet and are not able to obtain; you battle and war; you do not have because you do not ask. ³You ask and do not receive because you ask wrongly in order that you may squander [it] on your pleasures.

In verse 2, James accosted us that we often do not have simply because we did not ask. In verse 3, he addresses the possibility that we did ask but didn’t receive.

As I read this verse, what jumps off the page at me is that the major reason we ask but “don’t receive” is simply because the Lord knows better – that we simply “know not how to pray for what we ought” (Rom 8:26). As I survey my own life and my prayers, the answer has often been “no” but then as time goes by I see how wise and loving the Lord was not to give me what I asked for. In fact that is true to such a point that I can honestly say I don’t want Him to give me what I ask for. I want Him to give me what He knows is best. Then I just need grace to live in a world often far from what I wish it was. All that said, I also live in the amazement of how often He does answer my prayers and how unbelievably kind He has been to me. In fact, when He answers prayers, He usually does it in ways that really are immeasurably more than I could have asked or thought. He really does Himself give “a full measure, pressed down and running over.” He is still the One who said, “Ask and you shall receive that your joy may be full” and “Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.”

However, in James 4:3, we have to wrestle with this problem that my “no” answers might be because there’s something wrong in my asking. I hesitate to even wander into this matter because pretty much all my life I’ve heard people saying things like “You shouldn’t pray for your own needs and wants. That’s selfish. You should only pray for other people.” Or I’ve heard things like, “You shouldn’t bother God with little things,” … like finding a pair of shoes on sale or finding that left hand glove that seems to have disappeared. I soundly and totally disagree with those attitudes. In the Lord’s prayer itself, Jesus taught us to say, “Give us this day our daily bread.” Elijah prayed for rain. Hannah prayed for a son. John prayed for his friend’s good health (III Jn 2). David prayed to be delivered from his enemies. Jeremiah instructed the exiles to “Pray for the prosperity of their city” (Jer 29:7), and Jesus was concerned when people were hungry. Jabez prayed “Oh that You would bless me indeed and that Your hand would be with me, that you would enlarge my borders, and that You would keep me from pain,” and the Bible specifically says he was more honorable than his brothers and that the Lord answered his prayer (I Chron 4:9,10).

In fact, God wants us to pray over the least little details of our lives. That is the point of Jesus’ teaching in Luke 18:1: “Then Jesus told his disciples a parable to show them that they should always pray and not give up.” That is His point as well in Matt 7:7-11: “Ask and it will be given to you … how much more will your Father in Heaven give good gifts to those who ask Him!” The Lord wants us to pray about everything. It’s just like when my own children were very small – it was such a delight just to hear their little voices. I wanted them to ask me for anything at all their little hearts desired. I wanted them to ask, because I enjoyed when I could give them what they asked for. And even when I could not, I felt it was a valuable teaching time – explaining why I could not, or encouraging them to pray to God for it.

So, with that firmly asserted – that the Lord wants us to pray for everything and anything our hearts desire, big or small, anytime, anywhere – yet we come to James’ admonition here in verse 3. It is possible that our prayers are not answered because we “ask them amiss, that we may squander them on our pleasures.”

How do we balance this with all I said above? I don’t think it really that difficult. The fact is that anything we do is susceptible to motive. The little child can ask for something sweetly or they can be a demanding little brat who throws a tantrum when you say no. Sweet little children wrap us around their finger. Demanding little brats get spankings. It’s no different with the Lord. It’s up to us to keep the sweet child’s heart. That is James’ point.

Now what exactly is he talking about, this “asking wrongly, that you may squander it on your pleasures?” I think we need look no further than I John 2:16, “the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life,” which I have found convenient to designate our love for “pleasures, possessions, and applause.” The lust of our flesh. Once again, the evil “wanter” within us. The fact is we are so evil, we can even sin in the process of doing something as holy as prayer! We see it happen in Luke 18:11 when, “The Pharisee stood and prayed about himself: ‘God, I thank you that I am not like other people--robbers, evildoers, adulterers--or even like this tax collector.’” Clearly, even in the business of prayer, we need to be vigilant not to let our flesh be the driver of our hearts.

Once again, that doesn’t mean we should hesitate to ask for even the smallest thing we want or need. It just means, even in that, we need to be aware of our hearts. Will the Lord hear the sweet voice of His precious little child, or the demanding voice of a brat who needs to be spanked? We make the choice what spirit we ask in. Then He makes the choice how to respond.

So let us ask away, but let us do it in the sweet spirit of a child and their loving Father and try to be aware when our evil “wanter” is rearing its ugly head. Love God, love people. Even in prayer!