Exodus 33:12-23/vv.12-17 – “God With Us”

As always, here’s my fairly literal translation of these verses:

¹²And Moses said to the LORD, “Look, You [are] saying to me, ‘Bring up this people,’ and You have not declared whom You will send with me, and You have said, ‘I know you in name and also you have found grace in My eyes.’ ¹³And now, if (na) I have found grace in Your eyes, cause me (na) to know Your ways, and I will know You, so that I will find grace in Your eyes; and see (impv.) that this nation is Your people. ¹⁴And He said, “My faces will walk [with you] and I will give you (sing.) rest.”

¹⁵And he said to Him, “If not Your faces [are] walking [with us], do not send us up from here, ¹⁶and in what then will it be known that I have found grace in Your eyes, I and Your people, [if] not in Your walking with us, and we are distinguished, I and Your people, from the all of the people which [are] upon the earth?”

¹⁷And the LORD said to Moses, “Also this word which you say I will do because you have found grace in My eyes and I know you in name.”

As I alluded in an earlier post, I have enjoyed this passage for years. In particular, the (paraphrased) quote that often comes to mind is Moses’ retort, “If Your Presence goes not with us, then send us not up!”

At one and the same time, I feel my wretched unworthiness and also my profound vulnerability. “If Your Presence goes not with us …” Why should it? Why should the God of the universe personally accompany me? I am such a failure. It is a wonder of grace to me that He looks past the fact I am a total zero, covers me with the blood of Jesus, and actually chooses to love me, to be with me. So incomprehensible. But, back to His promises (last post), He said He would.

On the other hand, I feel that profound vulnerability. I need Him so desperately. If He doesn’t go with me, I’m doomed. At work, all these years, I have been given one assignment after another that was actually beyond me. But again and again and again and again He helps me and makes me better than I am. I’ve actually enjoyed a lifetime of very fun, successful projects – but I am keenly aware it was only because the Lord helped me. I could not have done any of it without His help. I look ahead at the projects I have now and think in my heart, “Lord, if Your presence doesn’t go with me, then send me not up!” If He doesn’t help me, I will fail miserably and I know it.

I think about my life morally. He has helped me be faithful to my wife for over thirty years. But I am a man and I feel keenly my vulnerability. “Lord, go with me!” “Make me better than I am!” “Don’t even put me in a temptation setting.” “If I must face temptations, God give me grace in those moments to think and act in integrity and love.” “God I need you so badly.” If His Presence doesn’t go with me, I’m doomed. “If Your Presence goes not with me, then send me not up!”

Even in something as simple as just dealing with people, if He doesn’t help me, I’m doomed. It should be so simple: just love people. How hard is that? And yet I find I’m so easily irritated, so impatient, so given to being concerned about what I’m getting. I’m an utter failure at saying the right things at the right time. For whatever reason, I have found over the years that I am basically invisible. If the things I say are going to be of any benefit to people around me, it has to be because the Lord delivered those thoughts to their hearts. On my own, my voice is just useless sound waves beating the air.

So here is Mr. Unworthy Nothingness wanting to live in this world and somehow make a difference. There is nothing to make the Lord want to be with me and without Him I am a total failure. As I realize it is morning and I have a day ahead of me, my heart can only say, “Lord, if Your Presence doesn’t go with me, then send me not up!”

But oh, the wonder of grace. Oh, the wonder of the blood of Jesus.

“Who shall lay anything to the charge of God’s elect? It is God Who justifies. Who is he that condemns me? It is Christ who has died, yea, rather, who is risen again, who also is making intercession for me! How shall He not with Him freely give me all things?”

“He who cometh to Me, I shall in no wise cast out!”

“I will never, no never forsake you!”

“Call unto Me and I will answer thee and show thee great and mighty things thou knowest not.”

My hope is built on nothing less than Jesus’ blood and righteousness,

I dare not trust the sweetest frame, but wholly lean on Jesus’ name.

“’Tis grace hath brought me safe thus far, and grace will lead me home.

His very name is Immanuel, “God with us.”

I’m so thankful for grace and for the faithfulness of our God who gives it. Oh, may I treasure His presence every minute and say over and over and over, “If Your Presence goes not with us, send us not up!”